Are you fighting your body style, wondering why you can’t get rid of that last ten pounds? Envious of the way your spouse/friends/ boyfriend seems to skip one meal and instantly meets their weight goals?
In this podcast, Ashly Torian, Holistic Eating and Body Love Coach, and owner of BioBalance, explains the different ways women nourish themselves (and others), and tells us how to listen to what our female bodies truly need.
Ashly Torian, Holistic Eating and Body Love Coach, owner of BioBalance, speaker and author of Join Me in the End Zone, has a lifetime of experience studying the psychology of eating, human physiology, exercise and how our outlook on these factors can either damage or enhance our lives.
She’s also a deeply kind, empathetic, genuine and grounded person, who will tell you the straight truth when you need to hear it. I love that! Here are the notes from our interview.
What is a Body Love Coach?
All women struggle with their bodies at one time or another. As we move through the different stages of our lives, we pick up “baggage” that pulls us further from understanding our body’s needs, to where we abuse and punish ourselves, trying to force our bodies to be what we want, versus embracing our body so she can “reply” in kind, and be strong and healthy.
The more we fight our body, the further we’re going to get from our goal. I teach my clients to embrace their bodies and treat them with kindness — so they’ll respond with the positive results we want. It’s all about loving instead of fighting all the time.
— Living this way is a lot more fun than the punishment and restrictions we normally put on ourselves. —
Ashly’s Book: Join Me in the END Zone
This is a collection of Ashly’s method, her client stories, her wisdom and her own life story, all relating to food, exercise and Body Love. The book and her method are divided into three categories. Embrace/Nourish/Digest – The END Zone.
Embrace the wonder of your beautiful body. The END Zone starts with love and appreciation for yourself.
Nourish so you can fulfill your life’s purpose. When we elevate our focus on our meaning — why we’re here — and away from just losing weight, we can nourish and exercise our bodies for their higher purpose.
Digest both food, drink, and most importantly how we digest our experiences and beliefs. When we hold on to things — traumas or harsh words that you took to heart — those experiences have damaging impact. When we hold on to trauma, we tend to hold on to weight too, for protection.
How does Ashly’s method work?
We always start from a place of love, because in the beginning, clients often don’t trust themselves to decide how to eat (and many other kinds of decisions). I help them shop, either in person or over Skype or FaceTime, and teach them to trust their own wisdom.
Then we determine their reason for being — their spiritual gift, their personality type, their highest goal. With that information in mind, I teach them how to nourish her body so they can fulfill that highest goal. So often we think weight is all about calories in calories out, but it’s just not that simple. We women are complicated beings!
Why do some of us hold onto weight easily and some let it go right away?
We’re all made up of two archetypes: masculine and feminine. Men are usually about 80% masculine/20% feminine, whereas women are around 20% masculine/80% feminine. The masculine archetype thrives on numbers, calculations, logic. This lines up perfectly with diet — a diet tells you what to eat, when to eat, how to eat. This goes in line with the male physiology.
In contrast, women are usually more emotional beings. We’re about ebb and flow, allowances, permission, pleasure, intuition. We can be chaotic, but are also more grounded. One of traits of the feminine archetype is Earth.
— We are the nurturing beings of the family, and often times our nurturing is done through food. —
We so often use food to connect to others, therefore it’s more difficult for women to restrict food and lose weight. This restriction puts us in a stress response. When we operate in a stress response, digestion shuts down and we store fat, and burn muscle for energy, because we need extra energy when we’re in stress.
(Here, Ashly and I have a great discussion about food, families and nurturing. And pie!)
When we nourish others, and they find pleasure in what we provide, it gives us pleasure, and that’s when our metabolism hums. It’s not necessary that we eat everything we make; we also get pleasure from providing nourishment for others too.
It’s really a beautiful thing when you can connect with your feminine being, and do food in a totally different way, exercise in a totally different way that feeds your femininity, then your digestive system will be in full power, and we don’t ever have to diet again.
Ashly teaches her clients exactly how to do this in her book and group sessions.
About Ashly’s Group Sessions
I hold weekly group sessions in my home, and lead a weekly study course that meets via conference call. Also hold one-day and half-day live group retreats. I coach people through Body Love, and how to elevate your focus on your reason for being. Together we find out how would you love to be nourished.
I also introduce foods that most people typically don’t eat, like White Bean Brownies. (Go to www.chocolatecoveredkatie.com for more ideas on sweets!) She has great desserts that are made with beans and are gluten free.
Ashly’s Most Important Message for Inspiring Lives Listeners
Women, get rid of the numbers. Get rid of the scale, get rid of counting the calories you eat and the calories you burn. Get rid of those plastic calorie counting bracelets. (They’re great for some things. They’re great for men!)
Women need to check in with their intuition, and listen to the needs of our body, otherwise we are missing the whole point of being here. We have got to check in, listen, breathe and get quiet. Hear your body’s message, because you know better than anybody else how to nourish your body. You are your best nutritionist, you are your best counselor. You’ve just got to be still and listen.